the irrational beliefs of a self-centered girl

I spent a solid portion of the past week walking around with what I thought was a visceral feeling telling me that the Vikings were going to make it to the Super Bowl this year. Of course, destiny (arguably) can’t be changed, and unfortunately the Vikings are destined to be forever within the grasp of a Super Bowl victory only to be struck with an agonizing and demoralizing defeat in the final seconds of the final round of the playoffs. I realize now upon further contemplation that this feeling that I thought was instinctive had nothing to do with a belief that the Vikings’ unlucky legacy was about to be broken, but it had everything to do with the fact that I am an egocentric individual. Here’s the thing: If I were back in the States, I doubt that this seemingly instinctive feeling would have been present at all. Sure, I would have gotten my hopes up, but I also would have assumed that the Vikings would probably lose because this is what you always have to assume if you decide to become the fan of a team that perpetually chokes on its own success. But my belief that the Vikings had a shot this time around had less to do with a false sense of optimism and more to do with an egoistic belief that everything about a place changes dramatically when you leave it. Even though it is illogical, it is still tempting to imagine that the cosmos will not remain in order if you are removed from a particular situation…that my absence from the country will somehow cause the Vikings to become Super Bowl champs. While my head understands that an expatriate living on the other side of the globe has little to no influence over the outcome of a major sporting event, my heart refuses to acknowledge that my self-imposed removal from the country ultimately doesn’t make said country lose its identity. While I know that my mom will still play computer games that involve popping bubbles, and my dad will still go to poker on Tuesday nights, and Cindy Sue will still demand ice cubes in her water bowl, and one brother will analyze what went wrong with the Steelers this season while the other brother will buy and sell things related to fishing on eBay, it is still difficult for me to imagine that everything will go on back home exactly as it did before I left. Perhaps because almost everything about my world has changed in the last six weeks, it is impossible for me to understand that the world I left can remain unaltered. And the realization that everything is still the same makes me feel simultaneously happy and sad. Happy to know that some things will never change – and sad to be missing out on those things…